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Will it affect our kids if we become foster parents?July 27, 2014|By Kathy Lauer-Williams, Of The Morning CallQ: My wife and I are considering becoming foster parents. We have room in our house and want to help a child in need. We have not yet mentioned this to our biological children and we are wondering how this might affect them?A: Taking in a foster child is a big decision and will affect your entire family, the Help for Families panel says."Love is not enough to take care of a foster child," says panelist Michael Daniels. "The more you learn about foster care the better off you'll be."The panelists laud you for wanting to help these children."It's great that people step in and take care of children," says panelist Joanne Nigito-Raftas. "Many people have the concept that you're just bringing a child in and giving him lots of love. <a href=http://www.louisvuitton-pascher.com/19-porte-monnaie>Porte-Monnaie</a> But you have to realize how needy these children are. A child will try to create his own world in your home."She suggests considering foster children who are younger than your biological children to minimize feelings of displacement.You need to talk to your children about this and include them in the decision-making, says panelist Rhoda Stoudt.How have you introduced your children to the concept of helping others, Daniels asks."If you have been volunteering or are involved in church activities, this may not be a completely foreign idea," he says. "Introduce it slowly. Get your children's feedback and don't be surprised if they say 'no.'"Children who are in foster care have had trauma in life, Daniels says."The most important factor in biological children's adjustment is their parent's relationship with each other," Daniels says. "The relationship has to be solid, <a href=http://www.louisvuitton-pascher.com/18-pochette-louis-vuitton>Pochette Louis Vuitton</a> and the parents see eye-to-eye on issues. They need to present a united front."The personality of your children also makes a big difference, Nigito-Raftas says.You child will be affected no matter what, she adds, especially if there is less than five years age difference."It gets complicated," she says. "The child may have a lot of issues. In a child's early years, trauma and neglect affects the brain. The situation has to be pretty extreme for a child to be removed. What this child is used to can be very different from your lifestyle."If you are considering foster care to adoption, you may have more parameters, but the average foster home is given less choice, Stoudt says.Be aware also you may have to contend with trips for therapy, visits with biological parent and court appearances."The child's ability to change and adjust will be minimal compared to your family's ability to adjust to him," Daniels says.610-778-2235TIPS FOR CONSIDERING FOSTER CARE Look for foster children who are younger than your biological children. You need to talk to your children about this and include them in the decision making. Make sure you and your partner has a solid relationship. Be aware also you may have to contend with trips for therapy, visits with biological parent and court appearances. Expect to have to adjust to the foster child's ways rather than he adjust to <a href=http://www.louisvuitton-pascher.com/21-sacs-du-soir>Sacs du soir Louis Vuitton</a> yours.THE TOPIC TEAMParenting experts and guest panelists who helped this week:Pam Wallace, program coordinator for Project Child, a program of Valley Youth House.Joanne Nigito-Raftas, registered play therapist and parenting educator, Bethlehem.Michael Daniels, adolescent and attachment therapist, Bethlehem.Rhoda Stoudt, Lehigh County Office of Children and Youth Services.Chad Stefanyak, school psychologist, Lehigh County.Help for Families is a collaboration between The Morning Call and parenting professionals brought together by Valley Youth House's Project Child.Featured ArticlesMore:Related Articles<br>November 5, 1989<br>May 30, 2009<br>June 13, 1986<br>February 13, 1987<br>January 25, 1984Find More Stories About|||Please note the green-lined linked article text has been applied commercially without any involvement from our newsroom editors, reporters or any other editorial staff.
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