Difference between revisions of "User:RahalMccall69"

Latest revision as of 11:36, 2 December 2015

Difference between revisions of "User:RahalMccall69"

Latest revision as of 11:36, 2 December 2015

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-There is an insidious menace slowly creeping into our nation's coffee shops, bars, and grocery store aisles, bringing with it a wave of pumpkin spiced basic behavior that only one man can dream of combatting. John Oliver, please, save us.&nbsp;
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-Luckily, Oliver has heeded the calls of a nation in peril, taking to his Last Week Tonight web exclusive last night to let us know of the evil that is the pumpkin spice trend a flavor he calls "eggnog for morning people." Unfortunately, though, we may have reached terminal levels of the fall treat.&nbsp;
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-"It's kind of like how everyone you meet calls themselves a DJ all of a sudden," Oliver said. "But what they really mean is that they own an iPad and have been to a party."&nbsp;
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-True, but that's odd considering that virtually no one orders pumpkin spiced anything outside of October and November. Consider, for example, the noble pumpkin pie what Oliver calls "the most seasonal food there is."
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-"It is only good from the moment Thanksgiving ends until just after you've taken your first bite of it," he added.
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-With that in mind, there are several fall flavors that might be a little more appropriate. Or, ones that Oliver says he'd rather drink thank pumpkin spice, anyway:&nbsp;
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-A "cableknit sweater-spice" latte
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-A "Major League Baseball-spice" latte
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-A "keen awareness of my own mortality-spice" latte (because that's what foliage is)
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-But why, then, do we seem to go pumpkin spice crazy with better (and funnier) options out there? Well, we just love the autumn months and for a very specific reason, too.
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-"We tolerate pumpkin spice because we like the fall. It's the best season because you get to stop thinking about how weird your legs look in shorts. That's everyone, right?"
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