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@@@ Games outdoors or in are supposed to be taken seriously, but they're also designed to be fun. Players are supposed to be polite. But, as we know about human nature, perfectly nice people like to win. And that can lead to problems. Understanding why people behave like they do can relieve some of the frustration for the rest of us, and help us keep things and spoilsports in perspective. Arrested development Nicole M. LaVoi, associate director of the Tucker Center for Research on Girls & Women in Sport (tuckercenter.org) at the University of Minnesota, says that those who want to win at any cost are referred to as "ego-oriented" in their achievement motivation, versus a person with a "mastery orientation," where success is based on self-improvement and doing one's best rather than outperforming others. Ego-oriented people, she says, "derive their self-worth on winning and outperforming others, proving one's ability, being better than others, and they don't care if they act in over- or hyper-competitive ways," LaVoi says. "They are more likely to cheat to win, trash <a href=http://www.louisvuitton-pascher.com>Louis Vuitton Alma</a> talk, act in inappropriate ways (and exhibit) bad sportsmanship because the focus is on winning and proving they are superior." She says that the two orientations are developmental, and that by adulthood most (though not all) people move to a mastery orientation. "It is those that get stuck in a strong ego-orientation," LaVoi says, who "usually ruin the backyard-games fun for everyone." Social psychologist and professor Stephen Franzoi says that when we think of spoilsports, the classic Type A individual comes to mind. These people, he says, are always trying to one-up others. That behavior can lead to success in business, "but when you go to a picnic and they carry it over to friendly baseball games or volleyball games, it becomes problematic," he says. "Certain individuals have trouble turning off a certain personality style that has proven successful in their careers. This personality style permeates all aspects of their lives." Take a deep breath Jim Fannin, author, mental performance coach, life strategist and a former tennis pro, says that self-discipline is one of the markers <a href=http://www.louisvuitton-pascher.com>Louis Vuitton Artsy</a> of being a champion. Wild-eyed Uncle Bob, however, lacks that. "The best in the world have tremendous self-discipline," Fannin says. "They have reason <a href=http://www.louisvuitton-pascher.com>Louis Vuitton Audacieuse</a> over emotion." Uncle Bob and even your good friend Charlene, however, are not the best in the world at croquet or any other lawn game. Fannin, who has coached professional athletes, CEOs and everyone in between (jimfannin.com), believes that physical changes can be blamed partly for players' misbehavior. He says that the average person breathes 15 to 17 times per minute. When people start overthinking situations or getting too emotionally involved (even if it's croquet), their breathing rate can climb past 20. "When you get in a stress situation where you want an outcome, you increase your breathing, increase your heart rate, and if you don't pay attention, frustration, impatience, embarrassment all happen," he says. That's why Bob and Charlene get carried away. The solution, he says, would be for them to step back, take a deep breath, relax and refocus. (This is probably information best shared before you start the game, not in the midst of their meltdown.)