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(Joan Rivers remembered at star)
(Six keys to 49ers’ success)
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Tributes and reminiscences were delivered by TV anchor Deborah Norville, close friend Margie Stern, columnist Cindy Adams and Rivers daughter, Melissa, who spoke about how she respected her mother and appreciated everyone s support.
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Thankfully, the NFL鈥檚 annual preseason charade is nearly over. One more exhibition, this upcoming Thursday in Houston. Then reality stands poised to commence.
It was uplifting. We were celebrating her life, said fashion designer Dennis Basso.
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What will that reality hold? Hard to say. The Niners bring back an All-Star roster that populated the top ranks of the league for the past three seasons. That same roster looked putrid during its first three preseason starts, going 1-2 while getting outscored 64-24.
Hugh Jackman sang Quiet Please, There s <a href=http://www.museosangennaro.com/Public/wdluk.php>Christian Louboutin Shoes Sale</a>  A Lady On Stage at the end of the ceremony and bagpipers from the New York City Police Department played on the streets as mourners filed out of Temple Emanu-El, many dabbing their eyes.
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That could be due to Jim Harbaugh鈥檚 obfuscating ways. Or it could mean the 49ers have grown long of tooth, yet short of bite.
The funeral program included a page with three classic Rivers lines printed out: Can we talk? Who are you wearing? and Because I m a funny person.  
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One thing we <a href=http://www.symbiose.ca/images/christianlouboutin.gwij.php>Christian Louboutin Outlet</a>  know: The preseason is a horrible waste of time. It provides nothing for fans, while exposing players to unnecessary risk. Look what happened to Rams鈥?聽quarterback Sam Bradford on Sunday. He鈥檚 out for the year with a torn ACL, suffered in a meaningless exhibition. The 49ers鈥?franchise, Colin Kaepernick, could have suffered the same fate, taking no less than four major hits from the charging Chargers before Harbaugh took him out.
A legion of notables turned out to remember Rivers, who died Thursday at 81: comedians Kathy Griffin, Rosie O Donnell and Whoopi Goldberg; colleague and friend Kelly Osbourne; Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick; and celebrity doctor Mehmet Oz.
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So, now that we鈥檝e dispensed with the obligatory griping about NFL greed driving a pointless preseason, let鈥檚 get down to the keys to the regular season, which begins Sept. 7 聽in Dallas.
Theater stars Bernadette Peters, Alan Cumming and Tommy Tune were there. Record producer Clive Davis was, too. Fashion designers Carolina Herrera and Michael Kors were in attendance. Stars from TV such as Barbara Walters, Geraldo Rivera, Diane Sawyer, Kathie Lee, Hoda Kotb and Andy Cohen. Late night band leader Paul Shaffer. And moguls Barry Diller, Donald Trump and Steve Forbes.
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1. Unleash Colin Kaepernick: The Niners鈥?fleet-footed QB was a revelation two years ago, and again in last year鈥檚 playoffs, using his superior athletic ability to confound opponents. The team held him <a href=http://capstone.edu.sg/images/gucciusaonlineoutlet.php>gucci outlet</a>  back most of last season, while he played through a foot injury suffered in Week 2 against Seattle. Now he鈥檚 presumably healthy. If Harbaugh trusts his own system 鈥?and his chosen backup QB 鈥?then he should let Kaep be Kaep.
Mourners had lined up outside the Fifth Avenue synagogue and waited for their names to be checked against a list before entering. A crowd of media stood watch across the <a href=http://capstone.edu.sg/images/gucciusaonlineoutlet.php>gucci outlet</a>  street, and fans from as far away as Australia and England lined the streets.
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2. Find the right understudy: It appears that Jacksonville ex-pat Blaine Gabbert will assume backup QB duties. He finally looked competent during the Niners鈥?21-7 win against San Diego on Sunday. But he also looked terrible earlier in the preseason. Why not choose Josh Johnson, a QB quarterback who goes all the way back to the University of San Diego with Harbaugh and his system? Coach has always said Johnson was one of his favorite players ever. So why does he keep cutting they guy? Seems to me there would be less adjustment if Johnson came in to spell Kaepernick. And Gabbert was a total failure in Jacksonville. Am I missing something?
Actress Susan Claassen, who met Rivers in London in 2008 when both had one-woman shows, came from Tucson, Arizona, to honor her friend. I always like to say that in a world of knockoffs, Joan was an original, she said.
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3. Sign Alex Boone: The first-team offensive line looked terrible against the Chargers on Sunday, especially on the weak side manned by Mike Iupati and Joe Staley. That鈥檚 surprising, and can鈥檛 be helped by the ongoing holdout of starting strong-side guard Alex Boone. Give the man his money and put the oO-line back together. The team is developing a reputation for signing injured players on the cheap, while withholding raises to deserving, healthy starters. That bodes poorly in the long run, while Boone鈥檚 absence will hurt short-term.
The comedian detailed in her 2012 book I Hate Everyone Starting With Me that she hoped for a huge showbiz affair with lights, cameras, action and Hollywood all the way. Instead of a rabbi talking, Rivers asked for Meryl Streep <a href=http://capstone.edu.sg/clreplicashoes.php> Christian Louboutin Outlet Online</a>  crying, in five different accents and a wind machine so that even in the casket my hair is blowing just like Beyonce s. Indeed, her wishes were so important they were printed in the funeral program.
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4. Fix the field: The patchwork turf troubles this week were inexcusable. Coupled with the tragic earthquake that struck the Bay Area early Sunday morning, all signs pointed to calling off this last preseason game. But they played. (Read: $$) And $1.3 billion Levi鈥檚 Stadium had some seriously shoddy sod. The team needs to get this right by the home opener, Sept. 14 against Chicago. And they will.
Rivers was a trailblazer for all comics, but especially for women. The raspy-voiced blonde with the brash New York accent was a TV talk show host, stage, film and TV actress, fashion critic, and she sold a line of jewelry.
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5. Give Hyde the ball: Rookie running back Carlos Hyde was the only bright spot of the preseason. He looked great. And the team should feed him early and often, saving Frank Gore鈥檚 legs for November and December. The rookie from OhioState could be a key factor to offensive success.
The cause of death is being investigated. Rivers was hospitalized on Aug. 28 after she went into cardiac arrest during a routine procedure at a doctor s office. The New York state health department is investigating the circumstances, and the New York City medical examiner said tests to determine the cause of death were inconclusive.
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6. Win the Super Bowl: <a href=http://www.alportico.net/gosoc.php> true religion sale</a>  That鈥檚 what needs to happen to ensure the return of head coach Jim Harbaugh. Anything less could mean a major shakeup before next summer鈥檚 pointless preseason. Harbaugh wants Super Bowl coach money. He鈥檒l have to win one to get it.
Her publicist said that in lieu of flowers, donations can be made to God s Love, We Deliver; Guide Dogs for the Blind; or Our House.
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Al Saracevic is sports editor of The San Francisco Chronicle. E-mail: asaracevic@sfchronicle.com Twitter: @alsaracevic

Revision as of 20:05, 15 September 2014

@@@ Thankfully, the NFL鈥檚 annual preseason charade is nearly over. One more exhibition, this upcoming Thursday in Houston. Then reality stands poised to commence. What will that reality hold? Hard to say. The Niners bring back an All-Star roster that populated the top ranks of the league for the past three seasons. That same roster looked putrid during its first three preseason starts, going 1-2 while getting outscored 64-24. That could be due to Jim Harbaugh鈥檚 obfuscating ways. Or it could mean the 49ers have grown long of tooth, yet short of bite. One thing we <a href=http://www.symbiose.ca/images/christianlouboutin.gwij.php>Christian Louboutin Outlet</a> know: The preseason is a horrible waste of time. It provides nothing for fans, while exposing players to unnecessary risk. Look what happened to Rams鈥?聽quarterback Sam Bradford on Sunday. He鈥檚 out for the year with a torn ACL, suffered in a meaningless exhibition. The 49ers鈥?franchise, Colin Kaepernick, could have suffered the same fate, taking no less than four major hits from the charging Chargers before Harbaugh took him out. So, now that we鈥檝e dispensed with the obligatory griping about NFL greed driving a pointless preseason, let鈥檚 get down to the keys to the regular season, which begins Sept. 7 聽in Dallas. 1. Unleash Colin Kaepernick: The Niners鈥?fleet-footed QB was a revelation two years ago, and again in last year鈥檚 playoffs, using his superior athletic ability to confound opponents. The team held him <a href=http://capstone.edu.sg/images/gucciusaonlineoutlet.php>gucci outlet</a> back most of last season, while he played through a foot injury suffered in Week 2 against Seattle. Now he鈥檚 presumably healthy. If Harbaugh trusts his own system 鈥?and his chosen backup QB 鈥?then he should let Kaep be Kaep. 2. Find the right understudy: It appears that Jacksonville ex-pat Blaine Gabbert will assume backup QB duties. He finally looked competent during the Niners鈥?21-7 win against San Diego on Sunday. But he also looked terrible earlier in the preseason. Why not choose Josh Johnson, a QB quarterback who goes all the way back to the University of San Diego with Harbaugh and his system? Coach has always said Johnson was one of his favorite players ever. So why does he keep cutting they guy? Seems to me there would be less adjustment if Johnson came in to spell Kaepernick. And Gabbert was a total failure in Jacksonville. Am I missing something? 3. Sign Alex Boone: The first-team offensive line looked terrible against the Chargers on Sunday, especially on the weak side manned by Mike Iupati and Joe Staley. That鈥檚 surprising, and can鈥檛 be helped by the ongoing holdout of starting strong-side guard Alex Boone. Give the man his money and put the oO-line back together. The team is developing a reputation for signing injured players on the cheap, while withholding raises to deserving, healthy starters. That bodes poorly in the long run, while Boone鈥檚 absence will hurt short-term. 4. Fix the field: The patchwork turf troubles this week were inexcusable. Coupled with the tragic earthquake that struck the Bay Area early Sunday morning, all signs pointed to calling off this last preseason game. But they played. (Read: $$) And $1.3 billion Levi鈥檚 Stadium had some seriously shoddy sod. The team needs to get this right by the home opener, Sept. 14 against Chicago. And they will. 5. Give Hyde the ball: Rookie running back Carlos Hyde was the only bright spot of the preseason. He looked great. And the team should feed him early and often, saving Frank Gore鈥檚 legs for November and December. The rookie from OhioState could be a key factor to offensive success. 6. Win the Super Bowl: <a href=http://www.alportico.net/gosoc.php> true religion sale</a> That鈥檚 what needs to happen to ensure the return of head coach Jim Harbaugh. Anything less could mean a major shakeup before next summer鈥檚 pointless preseason. Harbaugh wants Super Bowl coach money. He鈥檒l have to win one to get it. Al Saracevic is sports editor of The San Francisco Chronicle. E-mail: asaracevic@sfchronicle.com Twitter: @alsaracevic

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