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(Why I stayed- A story of domestic abuse and the struggle to leave)
(Great America closing during 49ers games)
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If you鈥檙e planning to go to Great America in Santa Clara, better check the 49ers鈥?schedule.
By Val Willingham
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In exchange for $12.5 million from the team, the amusement park鈥檚 owners have agreed to close the park on game days 鈥?both this season and in the future 鈥?and turn over <a href=http://www.alportico.net/gosoc.php> true religion uk</a>  their 6,500 parking spots to fans at the parking-challenged, $1.3 billion Levi鈥檚 Stadium.
ATLANTA (CNN) For four years, I dated a man who beat me.
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Given that Santa Clara receives a portion of Great America鈥檚 revenue, some locals are asking what the city will get out of the parking deal.
The first time it happened it was around Christmas of my freshman year of college. I had known him a couple of months. He was the first guy I had ever had a physical relationship with, and I was madly in love.
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鈥淭hat鈥檚 a question I鈥檝e asked,鈥?said Councilwoman Lisa Gillmor.
But he had a dark side, a short fuse, and I was very vocal and told him what I thought. The problem was, instead of arguing with me, he just beat me up.
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The short answer is zilch.
The episodes continued throughout our relationship. At one point, he actually put me in the hospital with a concussion, my face and body covered with cuts and bruises.
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Assistant City Manager Alan Kurotori said the city collects about <a href=http://capstone.edu.sg/images/gucciusaonlineoutlet.php>gucci outlet</a>  $5.3 million a year in rent from Great America, plus a percentage when the park鈥檚 revenue exceeds certain levels. Levels, we might add, that will be that much tougher to reach every time Great America shuts down for a game.
My friends begged me to leave him. His fraternity brothers did an intervention of sorts and told me he was a no-good, nasty SOB. But for some odd reason, which took hours of therapy to figure out years later, I just stayed with him.
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Unfortunately for Santa Clara, Kurotori said, that financial arrangement does not extend to the parking lot 鈥?which amusement park owner Cedar Fair Entertainment Co. leases separately from the city. So when Cedar Fair shops out its lot to the Niners, the city will get nothing extra.
It wasn t that I was unpopular or lonely. I had lots of friends, men and women. I was a good student, a leader on campus. I came from a loving home, with a father who never hit my mother, or me. But for years, I had a secret that only the closest of my friends knew about: I <a href=http://www.avanttravel.com/michaelkorssonline.php> michael kors handbags</a>  was an abused girlfriend.
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That was news to Gillmor, who joined her council colleagues two years ago in backing the team鈥檚 parking arrangement with Great America.
According to the 2010 National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey, 32% of women are physically assaulted by a partner during their lifetime. I was one of them.
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鈥淚t should trickle down to us, as far as I鈥檓 concerned,鈥?Gillmor said.
The question is, why did I stay?
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Mayor Jamie Matthews said that, in a roundabout way, it may: If Niners money boosts Cedar Fair鈥檚 overall revenue by enough, the city will get its cut <a href=http://www.avanttravel.com/michaelkorssonline.php> michael kors bags</a>  that way.
The American Psychiatric Association says that women remain in abusive relationships for many reasons: lack of finances, poor self-esteem, children and even religious and cultural values. In my case, I felt I had done something wrong and deserved it.
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By the way, lest you be frustrated by an ever-shifting amusement park schedule, Great America spokesman Roger Ross says the theme park keeps customers informed of closures 鈥渨ith as little confusion as possible鈥?鈥?via e-mail, social media and on the electronic sign outside.
It also might be because I was raised in a family where, and at a time when, sex was a little taboo.聽It was the 70s, and I was in school on a large rural campus. You just didn t do it unless you were married. So when I had sex at the age of 18 with this young man, I had pretty much made up my mind he was my future husband.
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So I put up with it. There was a strange bond I had with him, because when he wasn t beating me up, he was very nice to me. He treated me well, sent me flowers, took me places. We laughed, had a great time together.
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But periodically <a href=http://www.alportico.net/prodotti/christianlouboutin-sale.jkmsw.php>Christian Louboutin Heels</a>  when we argued, he would just lash out with his fists. It was horrible. But what was even more horrible was that I blamed myself for mouthing off. I thought if only I could keep my opinions to myself, the beatings wouldn t happen anymore. How naive of me. How foolish.
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The ironic part of this story is that he ended our relationship because I graduated from college and he didn t. He threw me out. I guess he was jealous.
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He was definitely a jerk.
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Six months after we broke up, I was coming home to my little apartment, carrying decorations for my first Christmas tree as a working woman, and I found him sitting on my doorstep. I have no idea how he found me.
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He asked to take me to dinner so we could talk. I reluctantly went. While chatting over the meal, he said he wanted to come back and that he didn t realize how good he had it. I quickly answered back, I didn <a href=http://www.alportico.net/prodotti/christianlouboutin-sale.jkmsw.php>Christian Louboutin Sale</a>  t know how bad I had it, but now I do!
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For once he didn t whack me. He got up and left me at the restaurant, never to see me again. I had to take a cab home.
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As I sat in the back seat I felt a sense of relief, but also shame that I had let it go on so long. But I was no longer a victim: I was free. As I look back on it now, It was the best cab ride I ever took.
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Revision as of 02:23, 26 September 2014

@@@ If you鈥檙e planning to go to Great America in Santa Clara, better check the 49ers鈥?schedule. In exchange for $12.5 million from the team, the amusement park鈥檚 owners have agreed to close the park on game days 鈥?both this season and in the future 鈥?and turn over <a href=http://www.alportico.net/gosoc.php> true religion uk</a> their 6,500 parking spots to fans at the parking-challenged, $1.3 billion Levi鈥檚 Stadium. Given that Santa Clara receives a portion of Great America鈥檚 revenue, some locals are asking what the city will get out of the parking deal. 鈥淭hat鈥檚 a question I鈥檝e asked,鈥?said Councilwoman Lisa Gillmor. The short answer is zilch. Assistant City Manager Alan Kurotori said the city collects about <a href=http://capstone.edu.sg/images/gucciusaonlineoutlet.php>gucci outlet</a> $5.3 million a year in rent from Great America, plus a percentage when the park鈥檚 revenue exceeds certain levels. Levels, we might add, that will be that much tougher to reach every time Great America shuts down for a game. Unfortunately for Santa Clara, Kurotori said, that financial arrangement does not extend to the parking lot 鈥?which amusement park owner Cedar Fair Entertainment Co. leases separately from the city. So when Cedar Fair shops out its lot to the Niners, the city will get nothing extra. That was news to Gillmor, who joined her council colleagues two years ago in backing the team鈥檚 parking arrangement with Great America. 鈥淚t should trickle down to us, as far as I鈥檓 concerned,鈥?Gillmor said. Mayor Jamie Matthews said that, in a roundabout way, it may: If Niners money boosts Cedar Fair鈥檚 overall revenue by enough, the city will get its cut <a href=http://www.avanttravel.com/michaelkorssonline.php> michael kors bags</a> that way. By the way, lest you be frustrated by an ever-shifting amusement park schedule, Great America spokesman Roger Ross says the theme park keeps customers informed of closures 鈥渨ith as little confusion as possible鈥?鈥?via e-mail, social media and on the electronic sign outside.

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